Trust Yourself, Not Your Fear

Recently, I got the writing opportunity of a lifetime. Initially, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude. I was honestly so happy, I could’ve died of excitement!

But then, a familiar pattern set in – first I would feel extremely passionate about something, practice and get better at it, then shut down when an opportunity came around.

In hindsight, I now know this to be self-sabotage, which can be described as when one hinders their success by undermining their abilities, goals and values.

It’s one thing when you know you’ve consistently honed in on your craft and no opportunities have presented themselves. It’s another thing when you’re the one standing in your way. You have the key to the door that when opened, will make your dreams a reality. But you stand in front of it, holding the key tightly in your hands, refusing to move an inch, willing yourself to not open it.

Quite frankly, it was not hard to rationalise that what I was doing (oppressing myself) was less than smart. What I questioned, however, was whether I had it in me to handle what was on the other side of that door. That’s when it hit me that my feelings were rooted in fear.

This short, four-letter word, which in my opinion, does not fully encompass the gravity of its definition, was the bane of my very existence. I believe that to fully capture its essence, it should be a long, difficult word like “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” (Yes, that’s a real word. I dare you to pronounce it).

Everyone has experienced fear. What makes the difference is how you tackle it. Do you freeze and remain stagnant, or do you fight it and go after your dreams?

“What is it that you want? If the fear you’re feeling did not exist, what would your life look like?” I asked myself. One word that constantly popped up in my answers was “freedom”. Freedom to do what I love, freedom to live a life that I love. Freedom to just be me. And I smiled, envisioning said freedom. It was a smile that came straight from my soul.

With that, I made a conscious decision to trump the fear. And what trumps fear? Courage.

Building courage looks different for everyone , but the one determining factor is that you have to face the fear and go through it to get through it. Go through it scared. Go through it doubting. Go through it unsure. Just go through it, because if you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering, “what if?”

Maybe you’ll take that leap of faith and things won’t pan out the way you want, but at least you know that you did everything you expected of yourself. The weight of regret is heavier than the weight of the fear you are experiencing. Fear is influenced by external factors, while regret is internal, influenced by the decisions you have made.

There may have been a point in your life where fear held you down and stifled your progress. Maybe you regret it, maybe you beat yourself up about it. But don’t do that for too long,

because it serves no purpose. Has the regret borne any good fruit? Has beating yourself up made you feel any better? No, I think not. What will bear good fruit and make you feel better is acknowledging your mistakes, learning from them and carrying those lessons to enrich other aspects of your life.

We are human beings. Ever-learning, ever-making mistakes, never perfect and that’s perfectly ok! The most important thing is that you have that belief, deep within you, that you can and will do better. You may falter and fall off sometimes, but the most important thing is getting back up again. Stay true to yourself and try.

There will always be another door to go through. With courage and self-assurance by your side, you will never be stuck. Life is dynamic and so are you. Nothing is permanent.

And that’s how this article was born. The fear I faced was centred around my writing. I worried about whether or not I would be good enough to contribute to the literary world. If my writing would be accepted by readers, impact them positively and assure them that they are not alone in the madness that is life.

But I let go of that fear, because I know that I am worthy. I have something to say and contribute. You do too and you are worthy as well.

There is value in the skills we have to offer to the world, and it would be a shame to hide behind fear and live in regret.

So, with that, I implore you to challenge yourself and push that door open. You may think, “what if I fail?” But have you thought, “what if I succeed?” Answer the latter and go for it! I know you can!