Insecurities, everyone has them, some people are better at dealing with them and others are just great at hiding them. We care so much about what other people think of us, we are so worried about our body sizes, our skins, failure or if we are beautiful enough, basically we are worried about whether we are good enough.
We let ourselves get sucked into the perceptions society has of us and what we should be like. We all want or believe we have to achieve perfection; the perfect body, the perfect man or woman or even the perfect life. It makes us seek approval from other people because we all want to feel secure and that just makes the problem much worse.
I mean I could go on and on about all the issues that we have but I would much rather talk about how to deal with all these uncertainties we have, like how we can become content with ourselves and develop the courage to accept who we are.
Once we have a better understanding of our insecurities, where they come from and the influence they have on our lives, then we can begin to tackle them. Figuring out where my insecurity stemmed from, helped me realize that I was not crazy for having them and that since there was a logical cause for them then there definitely was a way of dealing with them.
Insecurities can be caused by virtually anything and yours might even be one of the common ones like your body image or if you are good enough for someone, It can be something someone said about you. No matter the reason that made you feel uneasy, you should not feel bad because these situations could cause anyone to develop a certain level of stress and thereby make you start to doubt yourself.
I remember about a year ago when someone made a mean comment about the spots that I have on my skin, I felt so self-conscious and so uncomfortable. It made me paranoid and anxious that other people thought the same thing or they would feel the same, all of a sudden it seemed like I was a stranger in my own body, I had never felt so vulnerable. I didn’t know how much the imperfections on my skin bothered me. I hated my skin, I did not want to be in it. Then my dressing style changed, I stopped wearing things that showed the parts of my skin that I felt were problematic. It wasn’t until later that I realized that it was not only my dressing that changed, it was the way I carried myself and also the notion I had of myself.
But then I decided I didn’t like the way I felt about myself. I wanted to be proud of who I was, of my flaws. So, I learned, through a lot of effort to accept and love myself in spite of what others may think of me.
When you figure out what makes you feel insecure, the next step is to accept yourself, take note of all those imperfect parts of you that caused you to feel uneasy and accept them for what they are, a part of you, because those parts are also deserving of love. Embrace all the parts of yourself and see the beauty in them. They are what makes you who you are and they are amazing.
Every once in a while we find ourselves comparing what we have or how we look to others. If you notice that you engage in this act, I would just like to let you know that it is never useful and will just hurt you. Instead, when you see others, just be happy for them for who they are as they live their own lives. They are not on the same path as you or living your life with you, you have a right to be happy too and content in who you are, on your own path. Be happy for them but see that their extraordinariness are different from yours.
You do not need someone else’s approval, praise or attention. If you find yourself seeking it then replace that instead with self-love and self-approval. You can take away the power of someone having to approve of you if you do that for yourself, no other approval is more important than yours. That also doesn’t mean you cannot connect with others or be loved by them, you can love and be loved while also being self-approved or having self-love. Accept yourself completely and love yourself.
Now all these steps or all other methods you decide to take in dealing with or getting over your insecurities are so important but will also become moot if you do not trust in yourself and believe that you will be fine. This is going to take a lot of time and patience because it is a journey, a hard one at that. I have been on this path and am still on it and you will find a couple of things that you are struggling with along with things that make you feel uncomfortable and will learn to work with them as well as through them. This process has helped me appreciate and trust myself more, it has also helped me love myself and others more, it’s all going to be worth it in the end. Do it at your own pace. Don’t rush it.